Even though I have known my husband, previously my ex-boyfriend, for many years, living together is just different. You have to get used to sleeping with another person on your bed, adapt to your partner's sleeping timing or lifestyle (i.e. sleeping with the air con on).
It is not uncommon that these differences in our lifestyle or prioritisation potentially lead to arguments. For example, I have heard of people saying the way they squeeze their toothpaste are different. For example one may squeeze the tube from anywhere, whereas the other like to squeeze their toothpaste from the bottom of the tube. There are quarrels because of these seemingly minor differences. Even for my husband and I, my husband likes to play computer game. With the launch of the new Diablo 3, can you imagine, he's simply hooked to the game whenever he has time to lay his hands on the computer. Being newly wedded and living in my in-laws place, I do not have my own family members to turn to when I am bored or when I just feel like whining. The only person I can talk to now is my husband. Imagine this with me, my husband is engrossed in game, and I am feeling bored and I am simply uninterested in the game he is playing. What will be my next course of action? Yes! " CAN YOU STOP PLAYING GAME?!?!"
I tried the above method but to no avail. It probably work for a day but may not last to the next day or the day after next. If I were to use the method over and over again, in time to come, my husband will perceive me as a naggy wife. Bring the things you can't change to the LORD. Only HE can make the impossible possible.
So what happen is this, I brought up the question to my husband, "Do you remember what Pastor say about priorisation?"
"God comes first, then family, followed by ministry or work...and others....."
"So what is 'others?' Does playing games come under 'others' ?"
"Ohhh..."
That instant, I realise something. The things you can't change, bring in a figure of authority. In this situation, pastor seem to be the figure of authority for him. However, it is actually God. When I can't change things by my own effort, I sought the LORD. He is the figure of authority in control! HE gave me wisdom to say the right words at the right time. I was already in awe of God's work! However God is still not finished yet.
I had another opportunity to vent out my feelings about him playing game. After I told him my feelings, my heart was like, "shucks, why did I vent out my frustration about him playing game? I don't want to be a nag!" This time round, my husband told me, "Thank you for correcting me." When we went for church service that evening, of all things, pastor has to mention about a scenario where a guy was playing game, and the girl was in the background singing, "I am so lonely". God was just affirming his correction. Don't you just see God's hand in this situation? When we bring our requests to the figure of authority, HE takes control. Once HE has started, HE completes it with a BIG BANG!
Married life is exciting! A new season of learning, new anointing. In time to come, fruits and multiplication.
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